Counter-Offers: Avoiding Enticement

By Kevin T. Buckley, CPC

Counter-Offers: Avoiding Enticement

You've found the job you wanted but your present employer wants you to stay. You are trying to make the right decision. What should you consider?

The pay is better, the working environment is better and the future looks good. You've submitted your resignation expecting that your decision will be respected. Hold on, your boss wants to talk to you and change your mind. This isn't quite what you thought would happen. You thought there would be a smooth departure, fond farewells and a brand new start. What's going on?

You are about to receive a counter-offer. This could be happening for many reasons. Your expertise is valuable, your contacts with the customers are extensive, you are an asset to the firm. Your boss tells you this. What your boss is not telling you is that you are presenting to him/her a problem which has to be solved. Whenever someone resigns it creates an immediate crisis and sometimes the best way to resolve that crisis is to do whatever it takes to get that person to stay.

Counter-offers can take the form of instant salary increases, promotion to higher responsibilities, promises of future promotions, vacation time increases, and so on. It can be very tempting to surrender to the pressure and seize the opportunity. It seems like the employer has finally come around and is seeing things the way you want them to. Before you agree to stay, however, there are some important issues to consider:

I    It has taken your having to submit your resignation to obtain the
conditions you want.
N Nothing has really changed. After the dust settles, the same issues that made you decide to move to a new situation will likely reappear.
T The decision that you have made to choose your own future is not being respected. This is a decision that you have note made lightly.
E  Even if you receive everything you want, it is with the implicit threat of leaving, these benefits did not come  naturally,  your employer was forced to act.
G  Goodwill with your present employer has been strained and there will never be quite the same sense of trust that existed prior to your resigning.
R  Review time may bring some surprises as what was promised may not materialize in the fullness of time.
I  Intimidation may be used as a tactic to make you feel bad about your decision and to play on your fears of change.
T The employer may try to make you feel guilty about not being a teamplayer, letting down your friends, throwing away your hard work.
Y - Your integrity and the value of your word and the promise you freely made in accepting the new employment are in the spotlight.

Certain things may be said to you:

" You are too valuable for us to lose you "
" Things are just starting to turn around, why leave now? "
" We were just about to promote you but had to keep it confidential "
" What do you need in order to stay? "
" I didn't know you felt this strongly about it "
" You'll be letting us down if you leave now ! "
" I thought you were happy here ! "
" Why would you want to throw the benefits of your seniority here? "
" Everyone here likes and respects you and will be sad if you go "
" The boss wants to meet with you before you make your final decision "

These and similar comments create confusion and buyer's remorse. The fear-of-change emotion takes over. Career changes are challenging because you are about to leave a comfortable job, friends, location, etc. for an unknown opportunity where you have to prove yourself all over again. Fear of change can cloud your thinking. No matter how good the new opportunity is - it can sometimes seem more comfortable just to stay.
Sometimes the emotional pressure brought to bear on you can be intense. An employer who is competitive by nature may take this on as a crusade to "win" you over and deprive your new employer because they just don't like to lose. Trying to make someone guilty about their decision is a classic example of this type of emotional manipulation.

Of course, we all want to think we are irreplaceable, and want to believe all the flattery, but accepting a counter-offer or appeal to stay is ultimately not in your interests. Also, why are they willing to accomodate your needs as you are leaving? Why haven't they taken the initiative before this to meet your expectations and create this plan for you?

Employers do not like to be fired. Employer-managers are concerned that they may look bad to their superiors, and this could affect their standing in the company because they are judged partly by their ability to retain staff. When a contributor quits, morale may suffer. Further, your leaving might jeopardize an important project, cause a greater workload, or affect a vacation schedule. It's never a good time for someone to quit, and it may prove very time consuming and costly to replace you, especially considering recruitment and training expenses. It is much cheaper to keep you - even at a higher salary.

Remember, it's not about you. While your employer may truly consider you an asset, and may genuinely care about you personally, you can be sure that your interests are secondary to your company's profits and survival. In other words, flattering offers and comments are attempts to persuade you to do something that is in your employer's best interests, and not necessarily yours.

A counter-offer demonstrates disrespect for your decision and commitment to the new company. You've committed to the new company, which has made plans and accommodations around you. They are counting on you.  Stand by your word. Everyone will respect your integrity.

After all, how did your boss get to his/her position? Chances are he/she came from another firm as the result of a career move. You have made your decision to leave and it deserves to be respected.

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